the specific things that concerned me about all of this are:

Domestic Violence is part of an abuser’s need for power and control over another person.  It is a dynamic, that continues to happen to a person again and again and continue to get worse.   The full answer to this may only exist in the mind of God.  Learning the red flags and how to keep myself safe is important.  I do not curretly know the red flags or how to keep myself safe.

DV will continue to take the form of retrictions on where I go, physical, financial, and emotional abuse and threats to harm me and others.  People are often not aware of the facts about DV or some even refer to it as domestic terror or terror in the home.  It is fatal and progressive.

Alcohol, other drugs, or stress do not cause domestic volence.  These factors may contribute to increase in the abuse, but the violence is the result of the abuser’s need for power and control.  Targets of domestic violence continue to get into dangerous and potentially fatal situations with increased frequency.  It is not suggested by safety advocates for a person like this to be in a group living environment until they know how to keep themselves safe and what to look out for or the warning signs.  It is also not suggested that self defense is a viable solution.

DV is a pattern of abuse.  The violence only gets worse and occurs more often.  This patter repeats itself over and over again in a domestic violence situation.  The only way to end it is for the victim or target to take care of themselves and prioritize their own safety.  So little is known about it.  It seems to be spiritual and progressive in nature to me, but this is unknown.

The summary of all this is that no one has the right to abuse another and we have the right to keep ourselves safe.  I used the City of Phoenix Victims Rights packet and the book “Violent Partners”  as a reference.  I am a little less shaken up.  I am trying to get back to the basics, the the truth and the facts.  The current challenges have brought back a barage of uncertainty and trust issues.

My aim remains only to be helpful.  The minority perspective on this does not change the fact that this affects everybody.  The people that tried to hurt us are currently hurting others.  The thing that concerns me the most is not the sick person, but the sickness itself.  We must learn to see without our eyes and hear without our ears…

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